What do I actually believe about God when the future is uncertain and painful?
That has been the question that has been answered over the last two months as I’ve actively been applying to jobs (about 150!) without many interviews or responses except for an occasional rejection email.
God has made a few things in our path certain. He brought us back to Spokane so Chris could finish seminary here. He provided us a wonderful home. He gave Chris a job (with a simple phone interview!). And He made it clear that He was at work in me NOT having work for the last six weeks.
As I mentioned in our updated prayer requests a few weeks ago, I received a job offer but there were some unexpected hindrances to being able to start right away and so I continued to apply at other places. Also, I had a few weeks of doing poorly physically – with ongoing pain – so the job I was offered was less of a fit than I thought it would be when I interviewed.
Last week, I got an interview at a large company in Spokane. And the one interview turned into two interviews and a same-day job offer for a job that will overall be a better fit for my skills (and, to be honest, for my limitations). Assuming all goes well, I will be working for this company as a Project Specialist in about two weeks. Praise God!
After the rollercoaster, I am glad to be settled on a job. The job will not be fun or exciting but I’m grateful for the provision of this new opportunity. The other rejections still sting but even those things are part of the path.
If you have been reading our blog from the beginning, you know that we have been amply cared for by God. From raising support to go to Malawi to supernatural help through all of the challenges we faced there to opportunities and answers to pray as we moved back to Spokane, I have seen God at work! But even so, when what I wanted didn’t happen, I ‘quaked in my boots.’
God has been using this time of unemployment in many ways. One in particular: He has been revealing the functional lies about Him that I still believed (but claimed not to believe). Namely, that God is like the pagan gods who we can force to do what we want by sacrifice and goodness. I expected that because I gave up an amazing job to move to Malawi that God was automatically going to give me an even better job when we came back. I believed that my sacrifice would force him into blessing us.
It’s helpful for me to express that because it seems so much more ridiculous in black and white than in the recesses of my heart.
Here’s the truth: my obedience does not obligate God in any way. Now, it is true that He does bless obedience. We know that. But the blessing is not promised to be a job or money or good health or insurance. The blessing that I ought to be looking for is Him! I ought to value His guidance and His love in deeper ways. I ought to want God Himself more and more. Those are the blessing I can and should seek, knowing He will give them.
In summary, this blog post is to thank you for your prayers. God has answered! Yes, He provided me a job. But more than that, God has used the time without a job to reveal the things other than Himself that I have trusted in so that I may learn to not depend on them but on God alone.
May these hard lessons that God is teaching me be an encouragement to you as well! God bless!
September 14th update: God owes us nothing. But yet He is really gracious and loves to give good gifts that cause us to be rejoice and be thankful.
After I posted this blog update, I got an email for another interview with a different company. I almost didn’t do it but finally decided to go ahead and see what they were about. Long story short, it’s a much better job with better pay and amazing health benefits. And they offered it to me! So at the risk of being a total flake, I declined the position that was offered last week and am taking this new job. And I am really excited about it!
Thank you, again, for praying. It’s so thrilling to see God’s hand at work even if it takes a lot longer than we expect.
My hope is that by sharing this story of God’s provision and kindness to me (that I did not deserve or merit) it would lead many to “see and fear and put their trust in the LORD” (Psalm 40:3).
In ease or toil, in sorrow or comfort, in lack or in plenty God is all we need. He is good, in control, wise and compassionate.